Monday, August 31, 2009

M is for Missed Anniversary

So here we are in the fall of 2009.

I don’t think that when I started this blog, on August 10th of 2005, that I contemplated that I would be worse off in 2009. I figured that my income would increase, and the court might moderate the level of abuse I was suffering - showing some minor amount of fairness and/or justice. These things didn't happen.

This blog is 4 years old, and although I have spent most of that time unemployed or underemployed according to the courts, the courts have increased my payments and lengthened the term of them – with the most recent order increasing things coming while I was unemployed.

See, once upon a time I made big bucks, and per the court it must be that I still can. This is called 'imputing income'.

Or perhaps called closing your eyes, putting your fingers in your ears, and shouting 'THE POOR SUFFERING WOMAN! THE POOR SUFFERING WOMAN! THE POOR SUFFERING WOMAN! THE POOR SUFFERING WOMAN! THE POOR SUFFERING WOMAN!' over and over and over.

So 65% of my unemployment goes to the ex, and arrears pile up, because reality cannot impinge upon the family court. I feed and clothe my kids on about $400 every month, with help from the occasional bit of part-time work, and from the part-time work my ‘new’ wife does. We are months behind on our mortgage, and will soon have to figure out what ‘Short Sale’ means.

I missed the anniversary of this blog.

Sorry blog.

Happy Belated Anniversary.

But if it WAS a happy anniversary, there might be less reason for the blog.

Please hit the ‘Donate’ button, if you can.

My Best To You In Your Struggles


Sunday, August 30, 2009

P is for Purple Heart

I can't help but admire this video and feel for our servicemen who come back to find out exactly what this country turns married/divorced men into.

The statistics they cite are shocking - 70% of servicemen return to divorce - 90% will be divorced within 5 years - 1.5% will get treated fairly by the courts.

And they shouldn't be treated to this sort of abuse - but fairness shouldn't just be for heroes either. I worry that what goes unsaid here is that all men live in this world, and that fair treatment should be for all men, not just heroes. Doesn't every man deserve a fair shake in a divorce, an opportunity to succeed, and not just be a wage-slave to a wife who now has a no-work sinecure?

With that said, do please view the video. It is eye-opening.

Your comments and thoughts are welcome, and please hit the ‘Donate’ button, if you can.

My Best To You In Your Struggles


Note - I have some first-hand experience with some of this in my own circle of friends and co-workers: See O is for Opportunity for the story.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

H is for Hmmmm

The story of Jaycee Lee Dugard has drawn a lot of interest lately, but for me, it draws interest for slightly different reasons. There are questions that I'd like to know the answers to, questions that probably won't be answered.

I mean, we all read the Big Media Story, like the MSN one linked above, right? 11-year-old girl is abducted, kept as sex slave by sex offender Phillip Garrido, who had two daughters by her. But other parts of the story just didn't seem to be being brought out. One minor thing - I'd like to learn more about Nancy Garrido, Phillip's wife, who assisted in the kidnapping and then the 18 years of imprisonment. Was Phillip more evil that Nancy? Probably. Probably a lot. But I'd hate for the woman who helped every step of the way to get off scot-free because she cuts a deal.

But even more than Nancy, I wondered about Jaycee's fathers. Her step-father, who tried to run down Phillip and Nancy (the abductors) on a bicycle as they zoomed away with Jaycee in her car, and I also wonder about her biological father. Very few words wasted at MSN on the man who was raising Jaycee, or the man who fathered Jaycee.

The Sacramento Bee provides a bit more robust information, letting us know that the step-father Carl Probyn is 'separated' from Jaycee's mom. Elsewhere we read that they have been separated for 10 years. However MSN indicates that they are divorced:

"Probyn has been in constant contact with Dugard's mother, his ex-wife Terry Probyn, since she found out her daughter was alive on Wednesday. "

The money quote comes from AP, found here in the LI press:

“It broke my marriage up. I’ve gone through hell, I mean I’m a suspect up until yesterday,” he told The Associated Press at his home in Orange, Calif. “I’m the last person to see her.”

"I'm a suspect up to yesterday." Add it to how the cops and probation stumbled over every opportunity to catch the real abductor, and I think we can wonder if it isn't true that the cops had their suspect - the step-father, and looked no further, torturing this man and his wife until their relationship was destroyed.

And what about the biological father? Help Find The Missing tells us "Dugard's biological father was quickly ruled out as a suspect; at the time of her abduction, he did not even know where she was living."

One wonders how it is possible that a father doesn't know where his 11-year-old daughter is living. Mostly, one would. And I'm starting to think uncharitable thoughts about Terry Probyn. Living in the real world, I see too many men cut out of their children's lives, and wonder if in fact Jaycee wasn't abducted twice. Once from her biological father, and once from her biological mother and step-father.

I wonder what Jaycee's biological dad's name is? Was he paying child support? What about Carl? Alimony? Support? This is, after all, California.

The real story - the big story - is the rescue of Jaycee and her daughters, and the stupidity of the police - and that stupidity does seem to have part of its origins in misandry - the misandrous focus on the step-father to the exclusion of others, and the failure to do the right kind of investigations and do the right kind of monitoring with respect to Phillip and Nancy Garrido - Phillip, who as I read it, should never have been let out of prison.

But one wonders about Terry, and Jaycee's biological dad, and why it was and is so easy to ignore him, perhaps cut him off from contact with his daughter, and why it was also so easy, and perhaps financially attractive, to toss Carl aside too. Inquiring minds want to know.

My Best To You In Your Struggles.


Another look at this story - Stockholm Syndrome/PAS


One poster asked why we care -thought that this was all sick - and I think that deserved an answer, and one that should appear in the post:

I care because my default opinion that men are good, and that Jaycee's biological father was a decent man who was cut out of his child's life. I don't assume he was bad, or that he abandoned her, and I think perhaps his story needs to be told - but it isn't.

I alsso care because I see that the stepfather clearly spent years and years as a suspect, and whose marriage was destroyed as a result.

It is too easy to suspect fathers, and too easy to discard fathers.

That's why I care.

Update on Jaycee's biological dad from the comments:

The Daily Mail says: "Jaycee's natural father, Kenneth Slayton, split up with her mother before she was born and has never seen his daughter. He is said to live in the Los Angeles area but was not available for comment last night."

Again, we have a third name. Seems that Jaycee's mom likely named someone named Dugard as the dad.

Your comments and thoughts are welcome, and please hit the ‘Donate’ button, if you can.

My Best To You In Your Struggles


Friday, August 21, 2009

M is for Meaning

Ok, below we have a sexy video of a Ukranian lovely. A beautiful, busty Ukranian girl, singing about something, but what is it? The imagery of the bride over the murdered groom, and holding the knife over his back, the imagery of the woman performing for military men, being interrogated, and in mourning garb?

Anyway, if you ask the Carrot-man, everyone looks a little orange, but this video made me think of the relationship between women and their men, who are very disposable.

(Scroll Down for Lyrics)

The Lyrics Are:
АЛЛО! АЛЛО!Hello! Hello!
КТО ТРУБОЧКУ ВЗЯЛ?Who answered the phone?
От ты даешь....Wow...
Милый, смешной, игривыйSweety, funny, playful
Закроешь глазки и полетимClose your eyes and we will fly away
Милый, смешной, игривыйSweety, funny, playful
Мое сердечко не разбивайDo not break my little heart
Припев (Chorus):
Да да даYes yes yes
Люблю тебяI love you
Да да даYes yes yes
Люблю тебяI love you
Да да даYes yes yes
Люблю тебяI love you
Да да даYes yes yes
Люблю тебяI love you
Солнце, послушай солнцеSunny, listen sunny
Твоя улыбка милее всех эхYour smile is the loveliest of all, hey
Солнце, я не ревнуюSunny, I am not jealous
Я знаю сложно любить такуюI know such love is difficult
Пупсик, мой сладки пупсикBaby, my sweet baby
Давай за ручку гулять с тобойCome on lets walk hand by hand
ОЙ! Oy!
Пупсик, мой сладкий пупсикBaby, my sweet baby
Я на край света, уйду с тобойWith you I will go to the edge of the world
Припев (Chorus)
ПОВЕРЬ! НУ ПОВЕРЬ МНЕ! ЭЙ! ЛЮБЛЮ ТЕБЯ! ДА! Believe! Believe me! Hey! I love you! Yes!


p.s. Welcome In Mala Fide to the linklist! A very smart male positive blogger who is way more hip than I am. :)